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The week had been a bear at work. When he reviewed his calendar Monday, his first thought was thanks that Laura was in San Francisco. My thought then, and still is, I would have sent her to Greg after seeing my schedule. He still had many items on his to-do list and it was already Wednesday afternoon. Laura had called on her lunch break to let him know she would not telephone tonight. Girl’s night out with Liaison, she said. “My don’t you look gorgeous tonight; I am glad I wore one of my new suits or I would look slumming next to you.” “You’re early, Daniel, but you still get a kiss for being so complimentary.” “I decided to ask for a drink here before going out rather than stopping somewhere. I need one after the week I have had at work.” “Have one in the den while I finish my makeup, only one Daniel.” At precisely eight they were seated in a booth in the lounge next to the dining room; Dan knew his friend appreciated strict punctuality. Interior Decorator was waiting to join them. These Are Compliments of John ASome are dated but are still funny...1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.3. How to prepare Tofu:a. Throw it in the trashb. Grill some meat4. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.5. I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.7. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was.
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